Thursday 18 December 2008
21:53 | Posted by
Dale Darley |
Its a beautiful day and I am glad to be alive, the sun is out and the birds are singing on this modern housing estate in Kent, the garden of England. The houses are just a bit too close to each other for my liking, I like my space.
This weekend is one of celebration, for 1 year ago about this time something happened that made me wish I was dead. The only other time I wanted to die was when my hormones kicked in at about 12/13ish, becsuse then I didn’t know what the hell was happening to my body, scary or what! No this was a realisation that I had to give up trying to fix someone and get on with living or in that moment dying becuase I thought I’d had my chips!!
But what a wonderful year I have had. My mum said to me in December I am so glad that I have my wild child daughter back, I didn’t think she had gone away. But mums know best. My brother said something similar to me last night, so welcome back you nutty cow.
Last night and on many nights I observe people in relationships who stifle each other. I went and talked to a guy on his own, similar age to me. How could I tell. Well he knew all the words to the songs too. So anyway we talked, he was out with his kids, wife wasnt interested. And then the story of his relationship slowly unfolded. Like so many we forget why we got together with someone, forget the passion, your tummy turning over, looking deep into their eyes, laughing at really stupid things, talking rubbish, holding hands, having sex in the kitchen, touching thier skin and just being. You get the picture.
For much of the night I danced alone, dragging the odd person up. They laughed the odd person. I expect thier wife didnt want to dance either. But I loved just getting up and doing what I wanted to do, without anyone saying oi you cant do that. Not sure I will be happy with the pictures or the videos of me dancing and playing around with my nieces. But hey who cares!
Dont get me wrong freedom is a fine thing but it gets lonely being free, but thank goodness for the daily reminders that being in a relationship aint all its cracked up to be.
So my little note is not about me feeling alone, I choose to be on my own at the moment, until someone comes along who really gets me and lets me be me, I will stay this way. This note is a gentle reminder to all of those who woke up next to thier partner this morning and didn’t stay long enough to make love, to stare deeply into their eyes, touch thier skin, connect with thier souls, to linger longer long enough to show that they really cared. Stop and take your time, today is the first day of your new love affair with your best friend.
This weekend is one of celebration, for 1 year ago about this time something happened that made me wish I was dead. The only other time I wanted to die was when my hormones kicked in at about 12/13ish, becsuse then I didn’t know what the hell was happening to my body, scary or what! No this was a realisation that I had to give up trying to fix someone and get on with living or in that moment dying becuase I thought I’d had my chips!!
But what a wonderful year I have had. My mum said to me in December I am so glad that I have my wild child daughter back, I didn’t think she had gone away. But mums know best. My brother said something similar to me last night, so welcome back you nutty cow.
Last night and on many nights I observe people in relationships who stifle each other. I went and talked to a guy on his own, similar age to me. How could I tell. Well he knew all the words to the songs too. So anyway we talked, he was out with his kids, wife wasnt interested. And then the story of his relationship slowly unfolded. Like so many we forget why we got together with someone, forget the passion, your tummy turning over, looking deep into their eyes, laughing at really stupid things, talking rubbish, holding hands, having sex in the kitchen, touching thier skin and just being. You get the picture.
For much of the night I danced alone, dragging the odd person up. They laughed the odd person. I expect thier wife didnt want to dance either. But I loved just getting up and doing what I wanted to do, without anyone saying oi you cant do that. Not sure I will be happy with the pictures or the videos of me dancing and playing around with my nieces. But hey who cares!
Dont get me wrong freedom is a fine thing but it gets lonely being free, but thank goodness for the daily reminders that being in a relationship aint all its cracked up to be.
So my little note is not about me feeling alone, I choose to be on my own at the moment, until someone comes along who really gets me and lets me be me, I will stay this way. This note is a gentle reminder to all of those who woke up next to thier partner this morning and didn’t stay long enough to make love, to stare deeply into their eyes, touch thier skin, connect with thier souls, to linger longer long enough to show that they really cared. Stop and take your time, today is the first day of your new love affair with your best friend.
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